Now there’s a deep thought, as my grandmother used to say. Silly stuff? Stupid controversies? Fiddling while Rome burns? Pick whichever one you like or make up one yourself. It’s fun. Sort of.
For what it’s worth (thank you Buffalo Springfield):
U.S. (i.e. Trump) Withdraws from Paris Climate Agreement: No brainer, guys. This plays directly to Donald’s constituency and costs him nothing to achieve, politically or economically. He can pull us out of the Agreement, which doesn’t kick in until almost the end of his first term, or end of his Administration, anyway. He can grandstand, then gleefully watch impotent outrage from such coal burning nations as India and China and go on about making the American coal industry great again. It would be, if it could export to India and China. Meanwhile, if you travel to Beijing, a surgical face mask is recommended for any contemplated walks in the park. Irony: Even the bigwigs in Pittsburgh, that symbol of fossilized industrial, flyover might, object. The regular guy, though, in from one of those depressed townships along I-79, likes the idea. He’s retired however, so he just wants to get on with his shopping and go home before the traffic hits. All the better to catch Dancing with the Stars.
Kathy Griffin: Bad taste photo/meme/gif. Outrageous comedienne move/exercise in free speech, if in bad taste. This does not make Ms. Griffin unusual, the bad taste part that is. Bad taste sells. It gives permission. It makes you free. Whatever. It’s made Griffin a sobbing outcast, forsaken even by the near hysterical CNN. I believe that Donald’s reaction tweet to this photo was the first respectable one he’s ever sent. Ms. Griffin has done the impossible, she has made us sympathize with Donald Trump. If I were a conspiracy theorist, I’d say she and what’s left of the White House Communications Department cooked this up to give Donald a bit of good press. Probably not but I stand by Donald’s philosophy: all publicity is good publicity. If that’s the case, you go Ms. Griffin.
Putin’s Interview with Megyn Kelly: Predictable. Big secret: he’s lying. Probably not worth watching. Wait for the press round up. If you like watching video of the late Leonid Brezhnev making a speech to the umpteenth party congress, you will find this informative and about as truthful. Otherwise, go back to binge watching House of Cards. Putin’s in with the Donald Administration and he knows it.
End of the World (a specialty of the Internet):
Major Retailer Closing Doors for Good: recycled business news. This dire warning has been on the ‘Net for over a year. Probable closures: Sears, Pennys, Rue 21, American Eagle, Children’s Place, Macys and any number of local boutiques/specialty retailers. Radio Shack is already gone. For updates, visit your local shopping mall.
Explosives in Indiana Mailboxes: Local police blotter stuff.
Gruesome Find Under Mattress: Don’t read while eating breakfast.
Doe Menaces Neighborhood: One phrase comes to mind: Hunting License.
Waitress Stories: Racist message on receipt and stiffed. Lovely message on receipt and $100 tip. Waitress refuses to serve rude customer (if that happened all the time, very few people would ever be served). Waitress drops something in someone’s drink. Waitress returns wallet to distracted customer, does not get reward/gets nice reward. Waitress gives free dinner to down on luck patron but then finds out it will come out of her meager wages.
Big Surprises: Indonesia is after anyone who’s gay or LGBT. China does not believe in or condone religious freedom. Japan’s population is diminishing. Donald Administration sends travel ban to Supreme Court. Students surprise teacher (can be good or bad). Military father/mother surprises spouse/children with unannounced return from deployment. Despite heavy advertising to the contrary, you cannot pay your mortgage by driving for Uber/Lyft; you might make enough money to buy groceries, that is if you move in with your in-laws. Ivanka tries to talk sense into father, although we’re not sure if Ivanka actually has any sense. And, last but not least, Jared Kushner is really a mute.
Note to self: Stop reading the phone at 3:00 AM.